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  The rest of her story (wrote better)

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  •  Titanic_charlie
      Titanic_charlie
The rest of her story (wrote better)
#1

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Here's a better version.Chapter 1

“Jack is gone. I cant go back to Cal.” These thoughts and more were running through Rose’s mind. It was the last day on the Carpathia and the rain pouring down on her wasn’t helping her thinking. “What am I going to do...?” She thought. “May I take your name love,” an officer with a clipboard asked her. “Dawson. Rose Dawson.”. “Why did I say Dawson?” She didn’t know, but it felt....right. Berrrrrrrr, berrrrrrrrrr. The horn rang, singling the ship coming into bay.

*******************************************************************

1 hour later


“Ruth, I know of your problems, I will make sure you live in a decent lifestyle.” Cal said.
“I don’t want your money, if you wouldn’t have locked that boy up Rose wouldn’t have gone to get him and died,” Ruth yelled. Cal’s temper rose.
“Fine. Don’t take my money, go and die for all I care, go rot with your slut of a daughter and her lover in Hell ” Unknown by Cal, Molly Brown heard the whole thing and came up to defend the now crying Ruth.
“You just wait a minute Mr. Hockley, you have no right to talk about Ruth, Rose, or Jack like that, Rose and Jack are not rotting in Hell, they’re all in a better place right now, and I will take care of poor Ruth here ” She faced Ruth.
“Come on, let’s get off this crowded pier, and into a taxi.”

*******************************************************************

10 minutes later

“Oh, what am I going to do?”She whimpered in a dark alley. She didn’t know at all what she was supposed to do. A lady with brownish-blond hair was walking past the same alley with a cart full of bags and saw Rose. “ Oh my ” She exclaimed seeing the poor young lady crying it the middle of the ally. “Ma’am, are you ok?” The lady asked. Rose was surprised to here a voice. “ Oh ..... I’m ...... fine, please don’t worry about me.” Rose said, trying to hide the depression in her voice. “ Sorry miss, but you are not alright.” She said. “ Im fine .... really I am”Rose said, but she couldn’t take it anymore and broke down into a flood of tears. “ Oh, you poor thing come with me ” The lady’s voice was full of sympathy, and Rose obeyed her.

The walk to lady’s house was short, with in about five minutes they arrived at a two-story brick house. When they walked in the women yell “ Frank, throw some hot-chocolate on the stove, we have a guess.”Then said, “Where are my manners, my name is Samantha McGean. What is your name dear?”she asked. “ Rose Dawson, I am really sorry, I should leave I don’t want to impose.” She exclaimed. “Your not imposing, we love guess.” After she said this, a middle-aged blond-haired man with a lovely Irish accent came walking with a tray of tree mugs smelling of chocolate. “ Of course we love guess, we never get any.” He said in a friendly way. “ Im frank McGean, and of corse you’ve already meat my lovely wife Samantha.” He let his wife cut in. “ Frank, can you believe I found this young lady in the dark, wet ally all alone crying? Good thing I didn’t let you go shopping with your cold, she probably wouldn’t come here with some man.” The Samantha looked at her husband and laughed at her last comment. “ But seriously know with a matter with you, your not hurt are you.” Some how Frank knew what was wrong. “You lost a loved one, didn’t you?” Rose replied with a “ Yes, on a ship.” She didn’t need to tell them what a ship it was, they knew.


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Posted on: 2007/5/7 2:10
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  •  Mac G
      Mac G
Re: The rest of her story (wrote better)
#2

Joined: 2007/4/15
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You should write a scene for the Californian dude! Like what they were talking about amongst Groves, Lord, Stone, Gibson, and Evans.
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"Looked like a rocket sir."

"Yes, I wonder why a ship like that would want to fire a rocket?"

(A Night to Remember, Stone & Gibson)
Posted on: 2007/5/7 14:14
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  •  Titanic_charlie
      Titanic_charlie
Re: The rest of her story (wrote better)
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like what, a court seen? but anyways, does anybody like it at all?
because i probably won't write more in less somebody asks me too.
Posted on: 2007/5/10 2:49
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  •  Mac G
      Mac G
Re: The rest of her story (wrote better)
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Nah man keep on writing. It's cool stuff. By Californian scene, I meant write what Groves and Lord, Stone and Lord and Gibson, and Stewart and Lord discussed that fateful night.
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"Looked like a rocket sir."

"Yes, I wonder why a ship like that would want to fire a rocket?"

(A Night to Remember, Stone & Gibson)
Posted on: 2007/5/11 4:18
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  •  Mac G
      Mac G
Re: The rest of her story (wrote better)
#5

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Yeah dude, if you're up to it. Check out my Titanic and Californian post. I have all the details of what went on. You should do one for it. No other movie writers seem to do much with it except in ANTR. Just a thought.
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"Looked like a rocket sir."

"Yes, I wonder why a ship like that would want to fire a rocket?"

(A Night to Remember, Stone & Gibson)
Posted on: 2007/5/13 19:04
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  •  Captain Dan
      Captain Dan
Re: The rest of her story (wrote better)
#6

Joined: 2007/3/27
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Quote:

titanic_charlie wrote:
like what, a court seen? but anyways, does anybody like it at all?
because i probably won't write more in less somebody asks me too.


Yes, I do like it. Fan-fics are fun to read, and I think you write decently. Though this probably ought to be in the Titanic movie section rather than the historical section.

As for writing more, go for it. From what you've done so far, it looks good.

Daniel
Posted on: 2007/5/14 15:43
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  •  Titanic_charlie
      Titanic_charlie
Re: The rest of her story (wrote better)
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i thought i had it in the movie section. oh well. im going to incorporate some of my family history in it too. like in 1913 my great great grandma was in Chicago and had triplets. but the one died after birth, and a year later one died of scarlet fever , and the one that lived was my great grandma.
Posted on: 2007/5/14 22:29
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  •  Kathi
      Kathi
Re: The rest of her story (wrote better)
#8

Joined: 2007/2/25
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The story is really cool! I like it *claps*
This could have really happened like you wrote it...
_________________
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!
E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me,
Still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to Thee.

Posted on: 2007/5/16 20:03
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