Joined: 2005/12/13
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My first post here... a bit of fun. I'm making a list. Please respond with anything you think should be added. Thanks very much. Best Regards, Frank Beachem
Everything I need to know about life, I learned from “Titanic†(1997)
1. If you’re going to make love in a car, make sure it’s NOT on a sinking ship.
2. If you’re going on a very long trip in a sea full of icebergs, bring a pair of binoculars.
3. Have a problem with a multi-million dollar piece of jewelry? Just toss it overboard!
4. If you want to try and “make the headlinesâ€Â, order a ships captain to speed through a field of ice.
5. Be careful what you win in a hand of poker.
6. Just because you’re “king of the world†today, doesn’t mean you’ll be alive next week.
7. Cold water can be a real killer!
8. Don’t ever allow yourself to be handcuffed.
9. If your life depends on an axe-chop by your girlfriend, give her at least one practice shot.
10. Make sure your cruise ship has lifeboat space for everyone.
11. Don’t upset a ship’s officer; they might shoot themselves.
12. Be careful of anyone named “Cal†who isn’t a baseball player.
13. Keep a whistle with you, always.
14. Propellers can really, REALLY hurt!
15. If you’re walking through the “valley of the shadow of deathâ€Â, walk a little bit faster for those behind you.
16. If you hear a band playing “Nearer My God to Theeâ€Â, RUN and PRAY!!
17. Don’t trust anyone who says they can “smell icebergsâ€Â.
18. If you find a Picasso painting, it really IS worth something.
19. DON’T open a safe on national television.
20. The practice of “spitting†is truly an art-form.
21. It is NOT necessary to announce dinner like a damn Cavalry charge.
22. Being in a fancy place does NOT mean you’re at the best party!
23. If you’re on a ship piloted by a Captain with the last name of “Smithâ€Â, GET OFF!
24. If a girl asks you to check into a certain “Dr. Freud’s†theory on male preoccupation with size, she is MOST definitely trying to insult you.
25. If someone wants to give you a “small token of appreciation compliments of someone elseâ€Â, watch out!
26. If you’re in a bad situation, sing “Come Josephine in My Flying Machineâ€Â.
27. Someone with a last name of “Lovejoy†isn’t necessarily filled with “Love†or “Joyâ€Â.
28. Sliding into the water is only fun at a theme-park.
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